person: so what have you been up to
me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush…
person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets
me: oh it’s nothing..
imagine if humans didn’t have knees and couldn’t kneel down to pick things up so we always had to stick our butts in peoples faces
wait wtf was I thinking when I typed this